Bad Things Come In 3’s

They say bad things come in 3’s but it’s more in 6’s.

Well, what can I say since October 2022 things have been really hectic and difficult, challenging to me because it involves my children, family and very much loved dog. It is an emotional rollercoaster even as I write this.

I write this on Christmas Eve as I have been advised to take mum for an emergency procedure with her digestive system, plan for Christmas up the creek as family members have COVID and our dog has a blockage in his intestines that needs surgery straight away and will need a lot of care over Christmas. He has not eaten in 6 days which for a labrador is tricky. The trauma and general grumpiness he has over the operation has changed his personality to being aggressive – he will not let us get pills down him that will help him, so we have been concerned for his welfare- he wants to be left alone and sleep. We know it’s natural and he will be back to his usual self we just need to watch the 7-19 days post-op. The vets and their teams have been super and what they do for animals is really underestimated. I just wish they were on hand 24/7 as we are at a loss as to what to do when he is sick. This is partly because we have been pulled and prodded in all directions. The emotional impact has been draining and we as a family are empty with no time given to stick to our routines

I know I am the leader of my pack and I am totally spent out and can’t concentrate on anything however writing my thoughts even if it makes messy writing and reading is my therapy. I am so tired that I have not slept properly for weeks and I know how I feel in my body – sluggish and running on borrowed adrenaline to compensate for the stress felt. It looks like Christmas day is going to be about sitting together and having the most frugal simple meal made with whatever is in the fridge and pantry while we prioritise our time with our dog.

At least my mum has had a clean bill of health and will recover quickly and await the operation she needs to have done in late January which is routine and there is no need to worry. Family members luckily have had COVID mild and are recovering fast and we will instead get together another time. January is going to be about re-adjustments to make way to pay vet bills despite having insurance and on top of that increasing heating bills as it’s been a very cold December compared to the last few years. But at this point in writing this, I already feel like I have halved my problems and concerns – the inner working strath is coming back slowly, I can feel my resolve filling up, like a battery that was so low that charging by writing this is happening.

As much as it’s been 3 separate events all happening at the same time more or less, it feels duplicated and heavier. but it’s getting better. I feel better and I know I have what it takes to get through it- we forget though don’t we how we can shun our power and courage to one side and wrap it up and send it to insignificance?

For me, writing reconnects me to that when I don’t have anyone that can understand or listen in on my temporary lack. So, for me and hopefully, for you, the message is that it is ok to feel empty, that life throws curve balls of different degrees, dimensions and weight, that every situation and circumstance at the time can shake you up, empty you and it takes a bit of resolve to keep going for every day, as adults we us can’t try and lock ourselves in our room until it all goes away. It is just better to go through it and fight through the blocks.

Process as much as you can, keep loved ones near you and trust yourself and keep the faith. Above all be present and patient. Better days are coming and you can once again smile and laugh. Just like the younger generations deal with things – I specifically mean my children – they show resilience and thoughts that have simplicity and clarity and they just don’t make a big deal out of things. I remember I once had that too and I have to unpack that once again.

For me – continuing with journaling, writing out my emotions, walking in nature and listening to music as well as meditation, all help. Do whatever it takes to balance the pull from all directions and ease things one moment at a time.