What’s your meaning of leadership?
Where does this meaning stem from?
Is that through personal experience or have you been told what good leadership is about and so you have taken it on board and run with it?
Are you a leader in your workplace?
What is challenging about your role as a leader and how much of what you do or don’t do breaches your values and personal choices and thinking?
Do you know what your values are and how they can serve you throughout your life?
They can act as a compass for you!
The company you work for may have had the values or beliefs that attracted you there in the first place but in time you experienced very few in the organisation that practiced those values, so it is or become a place of stress and dissonance at times.
I know that feeling very well. And in my younger days fresh out of university, in my set of jobs and a good few years after, I found that experience repeating itself, where I never felt I truly belonged there, and the leadership was poor. At that stage, I never really understood what leadership was about and I struggle to find good or great leadership today. It was only after working for myself and doing a lot of soul-searching over the years did, I come to an understanding, a different perspective on leadership and what it looks and feels like and how valuable it is for us all in the world.
So, what exactly was the problem then?
I have worked with blue chip companies and institutions in health and education and still to this day have to find authentic leadership. It is mostly lost in titles and labels and is very egocentric. There are too many managers and a hierarchical system that is both patronising and has a heavy lead-like weight. It was only when I embraced self-employment that I realised my attributes as a leader and why it was so difficult for me to fit into the egocentric way of leadership and management. I have a unique way, that people, and organisations are just not ready for, but in the past 5 years, I have seen a change for the better the fact that I am a woman and of Indian descent means I fall more than I climb. Just saying.
Opportunities just don’t exist as does fairness. People are not willing to fight for
you or give you any help or support and frankly, I don’t care anymore. I can see where I belong and where I do not accept giving my time to anyone other than those that are deserving. I choose. Why, because I am totally comfortable with myself and know myself enough. I have built and developed a radar that gives me intellectual intelligence to be able to suss things out. Despite something that smells fishy in the corporate world, I used to stick around and fight for what was right, and I never got anywhere. Ranks closed in on me and all that I realised is how sewn up things are and near on impossible to make an impact on a body of people looking after each other of a certain type of closed and limited minds. My own radar now serves me well and has matured to the point that I can comfortably and confidently embrace people and their limitations and still manage to do my own thing and in my own way- That I am not scared to dent things which need denting before they can
be fixed. I am confident to say that it is 99% accurate.
In the UK, coaching is still an area that is growing but much slower than I would have liked compared to other parts of the world. We are too slow to take on change and too conservative in our opinions, but the more qualified coaches do their thing with people and organisations, there is a resulting shift is happening for more empowered and genuine leadership qualities that have a win-win formula. That means no hierarchy – those leaders need to be accessible and human, and are happy to lose the titles if they are to lead from congruence and a clear vision.
People may not accept the false illusions but are too scared to act and put their heads above the parapet in case they get hassled or lose their promotional opportunities. We know how important and desperate people are to be liked in the world. Leadership is when you do the right thing, not the easy thing. How many leaders can you name that did that? Attributes of kindness, selflessness, compassion and empathy, sincerity, trust, and transparency surely are a must. I am sure a few well-known historical leaders come to mind, but they are not everyday and these were public figures, celebrity status and not accessible to all, but we can all learn from them If we are to attract good people into our companies and our lives, that must be embedded in every part of us?
Who today falls in this category of genuine leaders? Politicians? which company CEO? Who then – why is there such a huge gap- no one clearly comes to mind. And if it does for you then you are in good company! Perhaps leadership traits have changed and there is not this massive thing we have to do or be created in the world that makes a massive difference to mankind or a cause.
We all know what Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi and JFK, as famous change makers and leaders stood for and did for us. Who is making a stand for us all for better lives? There are equally leaders from the past that had a negative impact on the world depending on your viewpoint. I am sure we can name them – perhaps that is what is happening today? Greed has taken over. Well, I will not be led by these characters, I choose to become my own leader from within and the first step is to know who to follow and who not to!
Family values and a container to grow are important pillars of upbringing and much of what I bring to leadership stems from there. I see such a disparity between leaders in their workplaces and their home life. Leadership is not being the boss, not in its conventional way. Bosses are really managers promoted. True leadership is the quality of how you conduct yourself with others in every aspect of life, work and personal. It stems from within so that leadership cannot be put on the shelf to your choosing or convenience. Neither is it a role you play. It’s not a performance and acting-driven role.
Is it an intermediary? That is not leadership, it is a performance of a role. Genuine leadership I, mother, and older brother do not denote leadership of true value. You just cannot turn it on and off- it is a state of being and very much part of every bit of you that you bring to everyone. If you are confused here, don’t worry – it is simply that you may not have experienced the leadership I am talking about – it’s very much one for the future but does appear in chinks every now and again within people and you will always remember those people who have those leadership qualities. – it is integrated into the very fabric of your being.
Here is my perspective on leadership today and one for the future. Every single one of us is
a leader. It needs no label at all, just a way of being. Whatever you are standing for, whatever is being done will show leadership at some stage. There are so many people being leaders in unique circles whether it is being entrepreneurial, developing families and children, educating people, helping someone or strangers or just being to lift someone up. Leaders impact you in a positive inspirational way, they lead by example, and they are their values. There is no conflict between what they say and then do.
Leadership with kindness, authenticity and genuine regard are all attributes of real leadership of today and tomorrow. The world needs these values back. Many of these values are developed in good homes and it is important to know all the positions of the leader I want to develop becomes that can lean into and be leaned on to become. Sometimes you have to show people the way, sometimes you have to encourage others to progress quicker than yourself by championing them to rise far above your dreams. Then the other position is being there side by side. Enough of the power-gorging senseless archaic hierarchal leadership that has dominated our world for centuries. That’s a very corporate and male-established profile. Time to bring in a newly emerging perspective and if you are curious enough as to what this looks like and what the coaching on this will offer. Then read on.
We will work together first to mine your values – what makes you light up. What that looks like, and feels like in your head and body, we will look at the impact your energy brings and what causes are heart centred for you. We will explore different roles you are involved in both in your career and your personal life to be able to see where the consistency is and what happens when you breach your values or be someone else and cannot be your unique self. These sessions are about getting and saying hello to yourself again- the authentic self, not the person who has had to adapt in life to be powerful or liked. We will slowly be peeling the layers of crap around you, letting you breathe again fully and see life with a new perspective renewed ambition and vigour boundless energy and fulfilling purpose and clarity. You will have to be courageous and bold and will see a remarkable person emerging through these
sessions and I will be with you to witness such a vital and newly inspired emergence, at every step of the way. Say goodbye to performance and embrace authenticity with liberation. It’s an amazing feeling and from here we can start to build or rebuild things that have been hidden or lacking for some time. Let`s get on. Life is short. It is time to step up. There is your own unique but much-needed kind of leader within you. It is time for the world to witness it.